11 Thoughts I Have on the Daily as a New College Tour Guide

1. I most likely just rolled out of bed 15 minutes ago

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2. I probably should have washed my khakis 3 tours ago

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3. I am running out of things to say because this is a really long street with little to no interesting things around so somebody please ask a question

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4. I almost just got hit by a bus walking backwards and I hope I played it cool

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5. I chose to go with my long coat and am now severely regretting that decision because it went from 2° to 97° in about half an hour

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6. I feel as though my shoelace is untying but I don’t know how to stop

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7. I don’t care if I have never studied abroad and none of you are currently interested in learning about it, I am still going to talk about Barcelona for a good 10 minutes

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8. I accidentally just turned down the wrong street and will take a detour as though this whole thing was supposed to happen

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9. Any questions? At all? Anyone?

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10. No, I am not aware of any good places to have lunch after, because the only things I have been eating for the last semester are Ritz crackers topped with my tears

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11. Overall, while I sincerely hope you choose our university, please just enjoy food and sleep while you can

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